5 Things My Mentors Did to Become Confident AF Riders

Finding out the 5 things my mentors did to become confident af riders changed the game for me.

I’ve always been a little bull headed. But my saving grace is I am an amazing student. Ever since I was a little girl, when I want to learn something new, I am ready to study and put in the hard work. 

I have an eye for detail, and one of the best compliments I’ve ever received is that I am so coachable. 

So, naturally, when I decided I was done being embarrassed and restricted by myself, and I was going to step into my Confident Cowgirl era, I got to work. 

I carefully observed my mentors – both my in person ones, as well as riders I admired. I went over what they said and did with a fine toothed comb. I felt like a miner panning for gold. Searching for the nuggets of wisdom from what they were aware they were doing. As well as the things they were doing they weren’t even aware of!

I came up with a list of five things they all did. Across disciplines, age, and more; these five things were in common and foundational to being confident af riders. 

So of course I had to share them with you!

Ok, here we go: the 5 things my mentors did to become confident af riders. 

1. They ALL focused on their self-talk and mastered this. Of all the voices in our life, your own voice is the one you will hear the most and the longest. You are always making comments and judgements to yourself. Are you kind and encouraging? Are you tough but fair? Or are you a tyrannical despot who tortures their subject (you)? 

When I realized the importance of my self-talk when it comes to being a confident rider, I stopped throwing spaghetti at the wall with the hopes of something possibly sticking and focused on fixing my own self-defeating self-talk. This is the money-maker. You know how there are a few foundational habits that you get right and everything else just falls into place? This is it. You have to get your self talk right or you’ll never truly break your own glass ceiling and become a confident rider. 

2. Let’s break down what it means to fix your self-talk. First you have to fix your self talk about your PAST. How do you view your past accomplishments? If you are embarrassed about where you come from you can’t rise up.

You have to learn to leave the past in the past, and stop beating yourself up for being imperfect Could-a, Should-a, Would-a will kill your confidence. And the more you are stuck in the past being upset about how things went and how poorly you did, the more difficult you make it for yourself to be in the present moment riding the horse you have today. Peak performance can only happen when you are here in the now.     

3. Fix your self talk about the PRESENT. If you are mumbling to yourself about how you suck, you have a problem, cowboy.

Speak life to yourself. Speak with possibility, and fairness. Affirm your capability. Acknowledge when you do something well. If the monologue going through your head before you compete is all about how you can’t do this, and Suzy spins better, and your horse’s left to right lead change is sticky, and you can’t breathe, and you can’t remember the pattern… 

Well, it’s stressing me out just typing all that out!  Fix how you speak to yourself about the present if you want to build your confidence. 

4. Fix your self talk about your FUTURE. You have to believe in yourself beyond a shadow of a doubt. 

There’s a million and one quotes about this and it’s true. You have to believe it before you achieve it. Before you win the World’s, you have to imagine it in your mind, and you have to truly believe it.

This isn’t just mumbo-jumbo. When you truly believe in yourself and in the great future you imagine, it changes you. It changes how you think, how you act, how you ride, how you show up every day in every single way.  So you have to nail your self talk about the future if you don’t want to get stuck where you are. 

5. The fifth thing all my mentors did was they all PROTECT their confidence. Have you heard the phrase, “the enemy gets a vote, too”?? If you do not protect yourself, your confidence will erode. 

Here’s a thought for you. Diamonds are formed under great pressure. It’s true; a beautiful gem is formed from dirty, messy coal, and an unfathomable amount of pressure. This can be inspirational when you think about going through hard times and how that is crafting you into a tougher, stronger version of yourself. But what do we do with diamonds after the jeweler is done cutting the stone, and perhaps setting it into a piece of jewelry. 

Do we treat it with disregard? Are we careless? No! We are careful! We protect the diamond. We appreciate it, but we might take it off for extra rough labor. We keep track of it so it doesn’t get lost or stolen.

Think of your confidence the same way. It is hard won, friend, through dedicated effort and the trials of life. Once you have it, you have to protect it so it doesn’t crumble away. You don’t want your confidence to eek away or get stolen away from someone else’s comments. Protecting your confidence is just as important as building your confidence. 

BONUS! Ok I couldn’t stop myself. One final note. It’s not just about riding with confidence in everyday situations. My mentors who are kick-ass also COMPETE with confidence. When champions ride in the arena, they believe in themselves. Don’t toil away day after day, and then undermine yourself by throwing it all in the trash when it’s time to compete. Develop yourself as a showman, so you can honor yourself and your horse and all that you can do together. 

→ Confidence is like consistency. It doesn't guarantee success, but you’re gonna have a damn hard time progressing as a rider or laying down some fire runs without it. 

I worked on these 5 things, and, like they say about hooked on phonics, “it worked for me!” (OMG does anyone else remember that ad campaign?) 

Which one of these resonated with you the most? Which was most challenging? Remember, the first step to mastering your self-talk is to be aware of it, and how you are speaking to yourself. 

Now get out there and ride with confidence!

Happy Trails,

Nicole Burnett

Interested in developing your confidence as a rider for unshakable performance in the saddle??

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