7 Ways You Sabotage Yourself As A Rider

We’re here, January 2024. It’s a new year and you're motivated and raring to go on your big goals for the year. You’ve told everyone that you are doing this thing!

Annnnnnddddd… 

Well, let’s just say Jan 14th is known as the day a lot of people fall off the bandwagon on their New Year’s Resolutions. 

But why? Why would you do the opposite of what you want? 

Well, we’re human, for better or worse. And that means that there are (unfortunately) a lot of ways we self sabotage ourselves all the dang time. 

So, as your friendly neighborhood mental coach for western riders, I am riding in on my white charger to arm you with 7 ways you may be self sabotaging and not even realize it! Because once you are aware of these sneaky little buggers and you know what to look out for, then you can stop your self sabotage in its tracks, and get back to crushing your goals!

1. Blaming others

I’m putting this as #1 because I believe in it wholeheartedly. I’ve also found, to my surprise, that this is a fairly controversial opinion. Stated another way: take 100% responsibility for your life.

Phrased that way, most folks actually get uncomfortable and look to argue with me. 

Once I adopted this perspective - that I was 100% responsible for my life - I got a lot happier. It didn’t change my circumstances overnight, but it did empower me to know I could change things when I didn’t like them. 

When you lose a round, we all get tempted to point our fingers at the judge, the horse, the ground, whatever. But this leads nowhere fast. It circumvents any learning, fosters resentment, and makes you a victim. 

It’s not always your fault when things go sideways, but you are always responsible for your behavior and actions. 

So do the cowboy thing and own your mistakes and your wins. 

2. Being a know-it-all

One of the secrets of Champions is that they are always looking to improve. Always. 

And the only way you can always be improving is if you are open to improvement. Open to new and different ideas and ways of doing things. 

You have to be humble enough to know you don’t know it all. 

If you think you already know everything there is to know about training and showing, well, why would you try to improve? This exemplifies a limited mindset instead of a growth mindset. 

Imagine yourself like a sponge. Soaking up new and valuable information every day and everywhere you go! 

3. Avoiding emotion

This one will probably hit quite a few of you in the feels. I mean, “Cowgirls don’t cry” right? And when you’ve got livestock, they don’t care if you’re sick or sad; you’ve still got (hours) of chores to do. We don’t got no time for no stinking feelings!

Well, we actually don’t have time to not process those feelings bottled up inside. 

Here’s the deal and what I see over and over and over again as a mental coach. It usually stems from wanting to be “strong,” but repressed feelings end up exploding - usually at a very inopportune time. 

Stress, anxiety, anger over little things. It comes bubbling or bursting forth eventually. There is no true avoidance of emotions. 

Emotions are like a storm: the only way out is through. Just feel them.

I get it. Being vulnerable can be scary, and hard to open up. But it takes courage, and will make you so much stronger mentally because facing your feelings head on wipes away shame. 

Try that on as a powerful reframe! It’s not powerful to bottle up your emotions. It’s more powerful to clear away any shame and face the situation in a courageous manner. 

4. Numb With Distraction 

Full disclosure, I’m talking to myself with this one. Excessive distractions can absolutely turn addictive. Doesn’t matter if we’re talking about binging Netflix, social media, any sort of mindless entertainment that isolates you from yourself and numbs you out - beware! 

This will derail your success train and stop you from achieving your goals. If there’s something that matters to you: your upcoming show, a relationship, training your brain - set aside time for it. And beware the self sabotage of activities that derail and drain you instead of revving you up!

5. Extreme self criticism

Oh hello again. Why yes, I have been guilty of this one, too! (Don’t worry, I’ve been guilty of all of these. That’s why I care so much about overcoming them and helping you to avoid them, too!)

Now, you gotta be self aware. It is a requirement for leveling up as a rider. How else are you going to recognize your own limiting beliefs, and retrain your brain in more helpful patterns? But being too hard on yourself? That’ll only tear down your self confidence. 

Because you’ll start to believe all those nasty, hurtful things your inner critic is telling you. (That’s also why I love affirmations so much). 

6. Worrying about everything

I’m not talking about facing reality head on, or about proactively planning for emergencies. For example, you absolutely should know how to change a tire on your trailer and carry a spare tire. I’m talking about obsessively worrying about everything. 

Does worrying change anything? Does worrying make that scenario less likely? 

(The answer is NO). 

All it does is ruin the present moment, steal your joy, and leave you exhausted and miserable. 

If anxiety about all the ways your run could go wrong is tanking your performances before you enter the pen, take a deep breath and bring yourself back to the present moment. 

Remind yourself that you are here in the “here and now” and the best way to have a good run is to be fully present and ride your horse. Not spend the run worrying about everything that could go wrong. 

7. Expecting success to just fall in your lap

You might not think you do this, but check yourself. Is there any teeny bit of entitlement sneaking in to your attitude? Like any endeavor, success in the saddle as a rider demands hours of practice to perfect technical skills AND master the mental game, continuous learning and a strong work ethic. When you embrace the journey of growth, you are more likely to achieve your goals. Whereas if you expect success to just be handed to you, you can be left wondering why your progress is stagnant. No matter how fancy your horse is. 

Whew, we really went into it today! Self sabotage won’t stand a chance! I’m curious, out of these 7 ways riders self sabotage that we covered today:

• Blaming others

• Being a know it all

• Avoiding emotion

• Numbing with distractions

• Extreme self criticism

• Worrying about everything

• And expecting success to just drop in your lap

Which one resonated the most with you? I love to hear from you guys! Write me back, and I’ll do a more indepth look at the one folks are struggling with the most!

Until next time!

Happy Trails,

Nicole Burnett

Mental Coach to Western Riders

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