Confession: I Caught Myself Feeling Guilty About This

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I caught myself feeling guilty. 

Last week I was watching IG reels of reining horses in anticipation for the upcoming NRHA futurity, as well as hearing amazing stories from my clients and friends about how well they’re doing, and all the competitive accolades they’re accruing. 

This week, I caught myself feeling guilty. 

Guilty for not being in a hurry to show 50 weekends a year.

Guilty for not going after crazy competitive goals this year (even if I purposefully chose to focus on training my young horse this year).

For not waking up at 5am to exercise myself and my horse.

I let myself feel guilty for how I chose to live this year. 

(Crazy, right!)

You see, a few years ago my goal was to show a lot. I competed in NRHA competitions. In Ranch Versatility. I had a blast, had personal best scores, won a buckle, a plaque and won money at every show I entered! 

I did that. 

But I worked my ass off!

In 2024 my goal was to work less. 

My 2024 looks like this:

• Lots of family time while my kids want to hang out with me

• Trail riding in the rugged Utah mountains to slowly build up my horse’s condition and provide myself mental peace

• Date nights with my handsome husband

• Giving my 2 year old time off when he had (many) growth spurts and was super unbalanced for months 

• Working with a new trainer and learning a new approach to riding in reining 

• Loving the birth of another eagerly awaited reining bred foal

And I’m pretty damn happy. 

My business is making money. 

My family and I love each other. 

I have a best friend I used to only dream of.

I have a horse I’m super excited about who’s coming along perfectly in his own time. 

I’m enjoying life!

And yet, I caught myself feeling guilty.

My mind was way too full of SHOULDS! 

Here’s the truth: success doesn’t have to look like endless hustle, or chasing every buckle and award. Sometimes, the biggest wins are the ones that happen quietly, in moments of joy, connection, and peace.

We often get caught up in what we should be doing—competing more, working harder, waking up earlier. But what if this season, this pace, is exactly what’s right for me? What if slowing down and being fully present is its own kind of victory?

So I’m choosing to let go of the guilt. I’m choosing to honor the goals I set for myself in 2024, even if they don’t look like anyone else’s. Because I’ve learned that riding—like life—is about balance. And in this season, balance looks like peace, patience, and plenty of time to enjoy what I’ve built.

If you’re feeling that pressure too—whether it’s to chase more, do more, or be more—remember this: you get to define success on your terms. Don’t let guilt tell you otherwise.

Here’s to making choices that bring us joy, peace, and a life we actually love.

To enjoying the ride—no matter what it looks like,

Nicole

PS- Our Mental Rehearsal for Riders Masterclass is Wed. Oct. 23! You’re going to master your innate ability to mentally rehearse your best rides into reality, as I guide you step-by-step through MY proven technique for mastering focus, confidence, and performance in the saddle–every single time. 

Looking forward to seeing you there!