Discover the 4 Lies That Undermine Your Self-Esteem in the Saddle (And How to Defeat Them)

“I’m going to fall off.”

“My horse runs so fast it’s out of control. I can’t ride her.”

“My horse is guaranteed to spook in that corner.”

“Marlene is in my class!? What’s the point? She’s going to beat me.”

“I don’t think I can do this.”

Do you have that insidious, nagging voice in your head? The one that whispers your doubts and insecurities and just won’t quit? The voice that blocks you from riding your best, and leaves you feeling frustrated ride after ride?

Do you have a full time Burger King employee in your brain whose only job is to feed you the biggest Whoppers they can come up with? 

We’re here to put a stop to that! Today I’m going to debunk 4 of the biggest lies folks fall for, and teach you exactly how to stop this once and for all. 

Exposing Lie #1! "Everyone's Got It Figured Out Except Me"

Ok, buckle up, buttercup, because we're diving deep into the social media whirlpool. You're casually scrolling through your feed, and it's all rainbows and sunshine, right? At least for everyone else. Everyone else has perfectly trained horses! (Curse them!) They’re out there laying down credit earning runs, and you’re over here tripping over your own boots, and your horse can’t figure out left from right. 

But wait just a hot second!

Those perfectly curated posts you're eyeballing? They're like movie trailers – snippets of the highlight reel. Or they’re static photos hiding the bobbles.

Every rider, and I mean Every. Single. One. Has their struggles. We all have moments when we feel like a deflated balloon in a room full of helium-filled ones. So, let's make a pact right now – no more comparing your daily struggles and your “blooper reel” to someone else’s “highlight reel.” 

Your journey is yours, and it is worthwhile. The ups and the downs. Think of it this way: movies and books all have plots… aka they all have conflict… your life is no exception even if it’s not playing out on the Silver Screen. 

Here's How to STOP This Lie:

→ Focus on your progress, not someone else's finish line. Celebrate your small wins, your 1% improvements. Rode five times this week? Give yourself a high five! Nailed that turn? Bust out a victory dance! Recognize your own efforts, and your own greatness, one percent at a time.

→ Curiosity is a superpower! I will sing this from the rooftops, baby! Reframe your perspective to get curious instead of envious. Ask yourself, "What can I learn from them? From their journey, their run, their attitude?” This game changing perspective shifts the focus from comparison to inspiration. 

Exposing Lie #2! "I'm Not Good Enough"

An oldie but a goodie! Imposter syndrome comes roaring out, and whispers in your ear that you aren’t enough. That you’re a fraud. Telling you that last win you had, that beautiful run, was just a fluke. 

But you are enough. Yep. Flaws and all. Yep, even with that penalty. You are enough. The good and the bad are what make you uniquely you. And you are pretty great. 

Here's How to CRUSH This Lie:

→ Confront your inner critic head-on. When that voice starts spouting negativity, ask yourself, "Would I say this to a friend?" If the answer's no, then hush that nonsense like silencing your phone.

→ Focus on your strengths. Make a list of things you're good at, no matter how small. Teaching a horse to load quietly in the trailer? Check. Navigating the trail with finesse? Heck yes! Take pride in your skills, and use them as a safeguard against imposter syndrome. 

→ Remember, all of us mess things up now and then. It’s just part of being human. Don’t let the imperfections and missteps inherent to learning stop you. Failure isn’t fatal. So when you stumble, do the cowboy/cowgirl thing, and get back up, dust yourself off, and get back in the saddle.

Exposing Lie #3! "I’ll Be Happy When…"

Don’t be a dummy chasing after happiness that only exists in the future. Don’t fall for the lie that once you get that perfect ride, then you'll be happy.

“Just a smidge more speed, and then I’ll be happy with my run.”

“Once I get a better horse, then I’ll start winning and be happy.”

“Once I lose ten pounds, then I’ll be worthy to buy that show outfit I want.”

Because happiness isn't a future event.  It's a choice you make, right here, right now.

How to Stomp This Sucker:

→ Practice gratitude. For realsies. If I could get you to do one thing, this would be it. Take a moment each day to appreciate the good things, big and small. A peaceful ride, a nuzzle from your horse, a laugh with friends — these are all tiny bursts of delight, eager to be acknowledged.

→ Focus on the present moment. Stop obsessing about the future or dwelling on the past. Mindfulness practices like a quiet moment with your horse or simply taking deep breaths can help anchor you in the present, where genuine happiness is found.

→ Release all the shoulds and self imposed pressure. Ditch the unrealistic expectations. Turn inward, and pursue your genuine desires. Go after what you truly want; not someone else’s version of success. I’m not saying don’t have goals and ambitions. I’m saying, make sure all that effort you put in is for something you want, and not because you couldn’t say “no” to someone else. If you’re over the reining, and ranch riding is calling your name… Answer the call!

Exposing Lie #4! "Failure is the Opposite of Success"

Ready for the Big Daddy of Lies? Here it is. We're conditioned to believe that failure is fatal. That failure is to be avoided at all costs or face the ultimate shame.

But here's the real secret: failure isn’t fatal. Failure is super-charged fertilizer for growth. It's how we learn, adapt, and become stronger. So, embrace the stumbles, the missteps, the epic fails. They're not roadblocks; they're stepping stones to something even better.

How to Karate Chop This Lie: 

→ Reframe your thinking. Yes, you, too, can befriend failure. Instead of viewing failure as a source of shame and inadequacy, regard it as a chance to learn and grow. Challenge yourself with the question, "What can I learn from this experience?" This mindset shift  transforms failure from a painful setback into a valuable lesson.

→ Celebrate effort, not just the outcome. This is a biggie. And it’s simple, but difficult to do. So even when you feel stupid at first, keep at it and be amazed at the impact this simple practice has. Even if things didn’t go as planned, ask yourself if you honestly gave it your best shot. Yes? Well that’s something to be proud of! No? Get back in there and change that! When you focus on your efforts, journey and your growth, you’ll find you won’t be so overcome with disappointment when you “fail.” .

→ Laugh at yourself. Find the humor in it. Let's be honest, sometimes failure can be downright hilarious. Remember that time your horse backed up onto their fake tail and sat down in the middle of the arena? What about that time you forgot to tighten your cinch and the saddle ended up sideways when you went to get on? We’ve all had embarrassing yet hilarious moments. Laugh at yourself and your foibles, and remember it’s ok to not be perfect. 

As you navigate the challenging terrain of self-esteem as a rider and horseman, remember that while gremlins may whisper lies and doubts to you, you have the power to silence their voices. Embrace your unique journey, celebrate your progress, challenge your inner critic, and befriend failure as a teacher. With mindfulness and a shift in perspective, you can unlock your true potential in the saddle and beyond. Ride on with confidence, and know that you are capable.

Happy Trails,

Nicole Burnett

Mental Coach for Western Riders

PS- look out for a special edition Newsletter tomorrow on the 3 Simple Tricks I Use to Beat The Competition!)