Why don’t you progress in your riding?

Why don’t we progress in our riding? What stops us from nailing that sliding stop? Why do we blow past the second barrel?

I’m not talking about, “Why am I not improving?” when you’re only riding once or twice a week. I’m talking about when you’re putting in the effort. You’re riding consistently. You have a trainer.

So why aren’t you growing?

Let’s get into it!

Because if you aren’t aware of your problem, can you really jump that obstacle? No.

Observing riders, I see three main obstacles that keep riders at a plateau.

1) Fear. (Emotion-based).

2) Reasons. (Logic-based).

3) Circumstances. (Out of my control).

Let’s dig into each of these and see if you can pinpoint your issue. You special snowflake, you!

Ok – fear. Fear happens when we visualize a future we don’t want. We have an internal, primal response that we sure as sh*t do not want THAT thing we’re imaging in the future.

Need some examples?

• I’m afraid I’ll fall off.

• I’m afraid the training won’t work (my horse only performs for my trainer, not me).

• I’m afraid I’ll fail. I’m afraid I’ll make a mistake.

• I’m afraid to mess up my horse.

• What if I look bad?

• What if I make a fool of myself and I look stupid in front of people I know? What if they laugh at me?

• What will my trainer think? What will my friends and competitors think? What will they say?

What if I try this hippy-dippy mental stuff and it’s just a waste of time. What if it doesn’t work for me?

What if I’m not meant to do horses? What if it's just for other people and it’s not for me. I’m not cut out for it.

Oof.

But you’re different. You’re impervious to the judgment of others. You’re not filled with emotional angst. You have logical reasons why you “can’t” or don’t.

And you know what, I agree with you! I’ve heard whether you think you can or you can’t – you’re right.

If you look for reasons why it’s NOT a good time, you’ll find ‘em. If you look for reasons why it’s NOT possible for you… you’ll find ‘em.

Let me show you some examples of logical “reasons” for your lack of riding progress. While fear is an emotional resistance and feeling, if you lean into being “reasonable” and “logical” you might find your resistance looks more like this…

• Now’s not a good time.

• My horse is too young/unseasoned.

• My horse is older and I can’t push them hard enough to be competitive.

• I’m too old to do this anymore.

• You can’t win without a $40,000 horse

• You can’t compete against a horse that’s in full time training.

• It’s too hard.

• It’s too competitive. There’s too many riders in my division.

Then, as much as we western folks like to pretend we’re super stoic and basically John Wayne, we also lean into being special snowflakes. Yep, all those other folks have it easier, we tell ourselves.

Your current circumstances are different. (Never mind most of them are the result of your own past actions and choices). But the error lies in how we lack imagination and see our current circumstances as permanent.

Do you ever tell yourself:

• I don’t have the money to show/ to put my horse in training/ to take lessons/ to invest in myself.

• I’m starting from the bottom. I had to purchase a young horse, an untrained horse and couldn’t just buy a made horse.

• Who am I to think I could do this? I don’t come from an industry background.

Do you ever find yourself saying any of these things to yourself? Are you stopped in your tracks due to fear, logic, or circumstance?

Now I’m going to challenge your perspective.

These aren’t actually what’s stopping you from progressing.

Because every successful rider had fears, had “reasons” it wasn’t a good time, and they all had their own unique circumstances. (And let’s be honest, they all were dealing with horses, who seem to have a special ability to hurt themselves in a padded stall…)

But they still made progress. They still figured out how to succeed.

But how?

If you’ve listened to the podcast, or read for a while, you know I talk about how life changing it was for me to separate myself from my thoughts. And you, too. You are not your thoughts.

Thoughts are just thoughts. YOU get to decide what to do with them. YOU are in charge of what actions you take.

To apply that here, take all the fear, all the logic, all the uniqueness of your life. Then recognize you have a choice. It’s your choice if you want to surrender to those things and stop. Every time you feel afraid, every time your brain offers up a reason you can’t succeed it’s your choice to give away your power.

Because you do have another option. You can acknowledge you are afraid, and DO IT ANYWAY. Do it scared. Do it messy. Do it imperfectly. But do it anyway. You can decide to take action to improve. To put yourself out there. Because no one improves in a vacuum without doing any work.

You don’t have to take action. You can choose to be afraid, and decide that’s a good enough reason to not try.

The uncomfortable truth is it's your decision what actions you do or don’t take. It’s your choice what you do with your fear, your logic, or circumstances.

Is it really being busy, and not having enough time, money, and resources that stops you from improving with your horse? NO! It’s your decision to STOP TRYING because you have limited time, money, and resources that stops you.

Is it the fear of failing, and not being good enough that stops you? NO! It’s the decision to allow that fear to stop you from working on yourself that actually stops you!!

When life presents you with an obstacle… (or should i say an opportunity?? Because life is constantly changing and presenting you with challenges.) What do you choose?

Are you a powerful creator who has agency, and doesn’t give up even if it’s tough? Or do you choose to be a victim and give your power to your circumstances? To your fear and logic?

Have you heard the classic western quote from Teddy Roosevelt:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

I will never make fun of someone who is trying. Ever. And if you look around, you’ll notice that you’ll never get made fun of by someone who is more advanced than you. Doesn’t happen.

Are you in the arena? Are you covered in blood, sweat, and dust? Or are you sitting in the stands?

I tip my hat to all of you who are afraid to fail but saddle up anyway. That’s called courage.

And then there are those who always have a reason why not. So they don’t. That’s their prerogative.

And there are those who face fear, adversity, and still find a way. Are you among the unstoppable?

Only you can choose if a given obstacle is the reason why you stop, or if you shift to see it as an invitation to step up. Will you rise to the occasion?

What’s stopping you?

When you think about it —

Nothing.

With grit and gratitude,

Nicole

P.S. My signature group coaching program opens at the end of the month! I call it the Mental Gym for Equestrians! Spots are very limited and doors will only be open for a few days. If you’re interested in being part of the program (not a course! not a membership!) get on the waitlist to be first notified HERE!