Go ahead and rub that lamp

What would you like?

More confidence?

More motivation?

Better luck?

More resilience?

More drive?

More persistence?

It doesn’t take a genie. It takes a simple change of mindset.

Have you ever had profound paradigm shifts in your life? And seen incredible changes as a result?

Once upon a time…

There was a boy. Me. If you’d known me in my late teens and early 20s you’d never guess that I’d be where I am today.

I dropped out of high school. Was expelled from my parents’ home. Spent the next 10 years just barely NOT homeless. My credit, finances, and future were a mess. I had (at one count) 60 distinctly different jobs within 10 years.

As you might imagine, that kind of volatility and crazy living was rough on me mentally and at one point I was diagnosed with ADHD, depression, and anxiety. I took maximum doses of Paxil and Wellbutrin and Affexor for years.

I was married once, divorced, followed my dreams to Hollywood. Crashed. Burned. Returned home to live with my parents.

It was the one of the darkest times of my life. My FICO score was BELOW a 400, and it was an excellent proxy for the state of my life.

I felt like garbage. To say my outlook was bleak was…an understatement. I didn’t see any way to have a different sort of life, and I felt wired to just have the one drama-filled crappy one I’d been living.

Until one day when I had an epiphany. It was a thunderbolt of clarity. A recognition that I’d spent 10 years essentially acting out against my parents. Punishing them for…well, God knows what. Nothing specific, other than just having some immature and persistent grudge against them. And I realized that while the 10 years had been no picnic for them, it was I who was hurting the most. It seems obvious, even stupid, but in that moment I realized that it was MY life, and I didn’t want to continue living that way.

After some thought I decided on a plan of attack: a strategy for rebuilding my life. I forgave myself for my infractions against others and society (e.g., all the bad debt and being irresponsible for so long), and I decided to start fresh.

And the most fundamental thing I decided was WHO I WANTED TO BE. I envisioned myself differently, and I modeled myself after what I thought it took to become THAT person.

I steadily and methodically rebuilt myself from the ground, up. I spent a month going through withdrawal and feeling sicker than I’d ever felt before to get off the medications. Then I got a part-time job. Then I got one credit card and kept my bill paid. Then I expanded my hours at my job and took on more responsibility.

Pretty soon my credit slowly started to recover. My bank account balance grew. I became a manager of a large retail store.

A couple years later I’d held down a job for that entire time. I continued to be responsible. I started college.

My three siblings, visiting once after being gone for years were astonished when they saw me.

Their jaws were literally on the floor and they said “Holy cow, if I didn’t know it was you, I wouldn’t recognize you!”

It all started with the paradigm shift.

You don’t have to rub a lamp

But you do have to shift some things around in your mind and adopt a new profound paradigm.

See, I don’t know if you’re like so many horsey people who I’ve observed in my years as the Non-Horsey Husband, but it seems a lot of horse people don’t see themselves as athletes.

But I get it. I think.

Maybe it’s because horse sports aren’t perceived as intense physical mano y mano style competitions, or maybe because a lot of horse folks don’t think of themselves as “professional.”

But I don’t think any of that matters because I’d really argue it’s far better if we ALL think of ourselves as athletes. No matter what sports we do, or if we do none at all.

I think we should all align ourselves with living and thinking like an athlete.

See, if you think of yourself as an athlete in the game of life then the positive effects of that mindset shift will trickle into EVERY aspect of your life, including your riding and showing.

Not a Quick Fix

Even though the paradigm can be quick to adopt, the results can take a bit of time.

…which is why I shared my story from the roughest 10 years of my life. Because adopting that radically different mindset back then took only maybe a day.

But seeing the fruits of that new mindset took months or even years.

Honestly, I think people are sometimes aware that adopting the right mindset and then steadily building off of it for months and years is the path to what they want…

But they want those results faster.

Like yesterday.

So instead of adopting the right paradigm and then training their mind AND body, they opt for other “fixes” (bandaids, short-term solutions).

Have you ever caught yourself adopting “bandaids” to get by?

I know I have!

For me those solutions over the years, at various times, in various scenarios looked like:

• Caffeine and energy drinks

• Prescription drugs

• Nicotine

• Alcohol

As I've shared elsewhere, none of these solutions worked forever or even very well. They all worked initially, but man did they ever bite me in the butt. Every. single. time.

Like I used to be able to slam a can of Mountain Dew before bed and sleep like a baby. Twenty years later, if I have caffeine it’s an instant headache, irritability, anxiety, panic attacks, jitters, and insomnia.

The Benefits of Your New Athlete Mindset

What benefits can you expect from your new athlete mindset?

Increased motivation and drive - Athletes have strong determination to achieve goals despite obstacles. Adopting this mindset helps tackle life's challenges.

Enhanced focus and concentration - Athlete mentalities allow zoning in on the task at hand and blocking distractions. This leads to greater productivity.

Improved confidence - Believing in oneself and abilities like an athlete fosters boldness and resilience.

Better physical fitness - Seeing yourself as an athlete makes health and fitness more of a priority leading to increased energy.

Stronger resilience - Athletes frequently fail but persist anyway on the road to success. This grit transfers to handling life's setbacks.

Greater discipline and work ethic - Athletes structure their days and make sacrifices to train. This self-control helps in all areas of life.

Higher achievement - Athletes aim for ever-improving performance. Adopting this mentality raises standards and attainment in any endeavor.

More purposeful living - Having concrete goals and plans provides direction and meaning like an athlete's training regimen.

Here’s how you can get started building your athlete mind:

• Set concrete goals and training plans. Approach life goals with a plan of action like an athletic training regimen.

• Adopt positive self-talk. Athletes use affirmations and visualization. Shut down limiting beliefs with empowering internal messages.

• Improve your self-discipline. Athletes withstand discomfort to reach goals. Build your willpower through incremental challenges.

• Analyze your performance. Assess what went well or needs work, make adjustments, and execute the next day's plan.

• Find role models and a support community. Surround yourself with people who embody the mindset you seek.

• Focus on the process, not just outcomes. Enjoy the journey of achievement as much as the destination.

• Reframe setbacks as opportunities. Adopt a growth mindset when facing obstacles. Failure contains lessons.

• Make incremental gains. Divide big goals into smaller wins. Progress builds momentum.

• Develop routines and rituals. Simulate the structure of training by planning and systematizing daily actions.

• Reward yourself for successes. Use mini celebrations throughout the process to stay motivated.

• Maintain balance. Even the best athletes rest and recover. Sustain the lifestyle change.

Ready to get started? Me too!

I’ll admit, up until this point I haven’t been serious about developing my own athlete mindset.

But I’m going to change that. Today. Because, while I’m a lot better than I used to be, I’m feeling the need to up-level again. I WANT that athlete’s mindset. I want the benefits I know it could bring to my life and everything I do.

I have a picture in my head of what I COULD look like, live like, be like. A picture of myself glowing with an air of self-possession and poise. Filled with energy and vitality. A hop in my step and a shine in my eyes. I bounce out of bed each morning excited to see what challenges and opportunities the day will bring.

As of today, I’m an athlete. And my sport is LIFE.

What do you think? Want to join me in adopting a new athlete mindset—starting RIGHT NOW?

A Note of Gratitude

Thank you to everyone who joined us for Nicole’s Mini-Mental Bootcamp over the last couple weeks—and for our new founding members of The Mental Gym for Equestrians.

We’re looking forward to getting The Mental Gym program rolling next week, and also doing more free mini-bootcamps and courses in the months ahead.

Stay tuned!

Until next week!

Adiós, mi amigos!

Abe

PS: Missed the first free live online training? Sign-up here to catch the next FREE Develop Unshakable Confidence mental skills bootcamp!