Going Under the Knife with the Guy Who's Had a Drink

Hey y’all, Abe filling in for Nicole this week since she’s hard at work prepping for the FREE 3-day LIVE Virtual Event (delivered over Zoom) which is starting on Thursday. Interested in attending? Click here to save your seat!

(Also, if you want early access to grab one of only 12 spots in Nicole’s signature 8-week program: the Mental Gym for Equestrians, we’re having a 48 hour flash sale, which expires on Thursday morning at 11 AM MST. And you’ve got to be registered for the 3-day event to get access to this exclusive promotion).

In today’s issue, let's pick on something fun: alcohol. It seems to be a surprisingly common crutch at shows to handle stress and anxiety. But what about the significant downsides?

You'd never:

• Bake a cake wearing boxing gloves.

• Speak sign language to someone who doesn’t understand.

• Have an important conversation with your mouth full.

Why? Because it’s obvious these would all be bad ideas. Baking a cake wearing boxing gloves? What a great way to make a mess! Having an important conversation with a spouse with your mouth full? Hah! Do not pass GO—GO directly to the couch/dog house.

Most of y'all probably don't lesson tipsy, buzzed, or drunk. But when you're jittery, on edge, you might need something to "take the edge off."

Maybe it's a beer or two before your next run. It'll help you be loose, relaxed, confident. You always ride better that way, right?

Wrong. You just think you do.

Even a small amount of alcohol can:

• Impair the formulation of new memories.

• Deplete energy and reduce endurance.

• Prevent efficient muscle recovery.

• Dehydrate your body.

• Increase reaction time.

• Reduce coordination.

• Affect your judgment.

Objectively, that doesn’t seem like a recipe for top-notch athletic performance in any sport—Western riding included.

Maybe you know this, or at the very minimum suspect it, buuuut at the show you just feel SOOOO overwhelmed, so overcome that you just NEED a drink. So you find a good place, out-of-the-way, in your trailer, in your truck, or maybe in a bathroom stall for a quick swig from the flask, or to slam a “cold one.”

As the liquid courage courses into you maybe you feel a little ashamed, but doesn't everyone do it?

But everyone wants to win on their own merit. They don't want to share the credit with a shot of whiskey. Maybe folks would whisper, "oh, she only rides well when she's had a couple." So even if everybody’s doing it, nobody’s talking about it.

Or maybe you like sabotaging yourself. Blame the drink, not your skills. It's easier to project failure on the booze. You'd have nailed that run if you hadn't had those drinks. Maybe next time.

The problem isn't alcohol. I'm not anti-alcohol. I'm pro-what works for your performance. NOBODY performs their best with a drink in their system.

Imagine needing surgery, and your surgeon had a drink to "take the edge off." How would you feel? You probably wouldn't want anyone close to your body with a scalpel if they'd had ANYTHING to drink. I know I wouldn’t!

It's not surgery, but why penalize your performance? Why ride at less than your full potential?

And what about your horse? You've practiced sober, giving precise instructions. But at the show, you're different. Your cues are off, like giving a presentation with your mouth full of marbles. How's that going to work?

But what's the alternative? If you KNOW it's a problem, what can you do?

Here's what worked for me:

• Get enough sleep. Seriously. Not getting enough sleep consistently means that our ability to emotionally regulate is impacted which means (among other things) we’ll experience more stress and anxiety—which can make us more likely to reach for a crutch (like booze) to lean on.

• Find a competent therapist. My advice: make sure you feel respected, heard, but also pushed to improve. You do NOT want one of the (unfortunately) many therapists who 1) validate extensively, but 2) encourage rumination without action.

• Substitute ANYTHING else (non-alcoholic) when you feel a hankering. My favorite substitute? Kombucha.

• Practice a healthier way of experiencing big feelings. Like the short (3-5 minute) step-by-step meditation routine below.

A More Effective Way of Handling Pesky Feelings (With ZERO Downsides)

Here’s one step-by-step way I’ve found which works much better for making space within me for uncomfortable feelings. It starts with (for me) a somewhat silly sounding mantra: “I am the expanse. I have room for all kinds of feelings within me and I decide which feelings I give my attention to.”

And then I take 3-5 minutes for a short mindfulness meditation. A lot of folks make the error of assuming if they can’t make time for 30-60 minutes of meditation that it won’t help.

I say the best evidence to the contrary is just for you to try it.

You might already know how this works, but here’s a step-by-step guide for everyone else:

• Step 1: Find a Quiet Spot
  Locate a quiet and comfortable place where you can sit undisturbed for a few minutes. It could be a corner of the stable, inside a trailer, or even on a bench.

• Step 2: Set a Timer (Optional)
  If you're concerned about time, set a timer for 3-5 minutes so you can fully immerse yourself without worrying about the clock.

• Step 3: Get Comfy
  Sit comfortably with your back straight but relaxed. Place your hands on your knees or in your lap. If you prefer, you can also do this standing or even on horseback, focusing on a relaxed but attentive posture.

• Step 4: Focus on Your Breath
  Close your eyes or lower your gaze, and bring your attention to your breath. Notice the sensation of the air as it enters and leaves your nostrils or the rise and fall of your chest.

• Step 5: Breathe Naturally
  Don't try to control your breath; just observe it. If your mind wanders, gently bring your attention back to your breath without judgment.

• Step 6: Engage Your Senses
  If you’d like, you can expand your awareness to other sensations in your body or sounds around you. Feel the connection to the ground, the temperature of the air, or the distant sounds of the show.

• Step 7: Use a Mantra (Optional)
  You may choose to repeat a calming word or phrase silently to yourself, such as "calm" or "I am present." This can help keep your focus centered.

• Step 8: Conclude with Gratitude
  As you end the meditation, take a moment to express gratitude for this time of stillness. You might thank yourself, your horse, or the opportunity to compete.

• Step 9: Transition Gently
  Slowly open your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Give yourself a moment to transition back, carrying the calm and focus with you.

Like anything, practice pays off. Don't expect profound results from rare use. But 3-5 minutes consistently will yield outsized returns.

So next time you're tempted to reach for that flask, remember: You wouldn't want your surgeon to drink before operating on you. Why would you do the same before riding? Your performance, your horse, and your future self will thank you for choosing a better way.

Catch you next week!

Adios, y’all!

Abe

PS: If you’d like to learn more ways of handling these overwhelming feelings, and develop the kind of confidence that eliminates the need for a drink before a run, you might like to attend Nicole’s FREE LIVE VIRTUAL EVENT which will be offered over Zoom.

I’ll bet you can imagine just how helpful developing unshakable confidence in this 3-part mini mental bootcamp will help you:

• Vastly improve your riding

• Have a closer more rewarding relationship with your horse

• Noticeably improve your show performance

Interested? Register by clicking here!