Have You Personally Been Victimized By A Spicy Chestnut Mare (TM) AKA Dragon Horse?

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She could already feel it slipping before she even walked into the pen.

That familiar, creeping tension, slithering up from her gut, wrapping itself around her lungs, squeezing just enough to make every breath feel too short.

Her mare felt it too.

The moment they stepped into the warm-up, the chestnut ears flicked back, muscles quivering under her saddle, hooves shifting restlessly in the dirt. She wasn’t still. Not even close.

And the harder she tried to make her be still, the worse it got.

She exhaled sharply, rolled her shoulders, adjusted her reins. Nothing. The mare kept shifting, her tail swishing, her front hooves shuffling against the packed footing like she was standing on a live wire.

Just stand still. Just. Stand. Still.

But it wasn’t happening.

Across the arena, another rider sat motionless on a sleek bay gelding, completely still despite the chaos. Cool. Collected. Professional.

She swallowed hard. Why couldn’t they be like that?

The thought made her stomach twist. This is going to cost me. She warmed up, and entered for her turn in the reining pen. She could feel the judge’s eyes on her, could hear the creak of her leather saddle and of dirt shifting under restless hooves, could sense the expectation that she should be better at this by now.

She clenched her fingers tighter around the reins. Her mare threw her head. The fight was coming.

And just like that, the nerves boiled over.

Her heart pounded, and frustration snapped through her like a whip.

 💥 Why can’t she just hold still for two seconds?
 💥 Why does she always have to be like this?
 💥 Why does it feel like I’m fighting her before I even get the chance to prove myself?

Everything inside her screamed to do something—to pull the reins a little harder, to shove her heels down and make the mare stop. Because if she couldn’t even hold it together here, how was she supposed to nail the rest of the run?

She swallowed back the lump in her throat and tried not to think about how the pattern hadn’t even started yet.

OMGeeeeeee McGEeeeeeee! 

This was one of my clients. She’d been riding for decades and met her match in this spicy jalapeno of a mare. (I won’t lie, it’s my love of jalapeno chips that makes me want to use that word everywhere. It’s a compliment. 🌶️ ❤️‍🔥 )

And oh baby was this a challenge. 

But if you thought we didn’t fix this issue that cost her mega points every run she made…

Well, you’d be wrong!! Ha! 

Want me to break it down step by step and peek behind the curtain?!

Here’s exactly what we did. 

1. FOCUS

We trained her focus. And that changed everything.  Because here’s the truth most riders don’t realize: Your horse can’t be focused if you aren’t. 

Seems obvious when you say it out loud, but we don’t often put the pieces together. We spend so much time obsessing over what the horse is doing—why won’t she stand still, why is she antsy, why is she tuning me out?—but the real question is: Where is YOUR focus?

Because if your mind is scattered, if your energy is tense, if you’re already bracing for a fight before you even walk into the pen… your horse feels that. 🤷

And that’s exactly where we started.

🔥 Before we trained her horse’s focus, we trained HERS.

🔥 Before we asked her mare to settle, we made sure SHE could settle.

🔥 Before she could expect clarity from her horse, she had to bring it to the table first.

Focus Isn’t Just Paying Attention—It’s Knowing Exactly Where to Put Your Energy.

💡 Are you locked in on the right things, or are you spiraling about what might go wrong?
💡 Are you fully present in your body, or are you lost in your head?
💡 Are you anchoring your horse, or are you hoping she magically settles on her own?

The second we shifted her focus from fear of what might happen and how her horse wouldn’t settle to clarity on what she wanted to create, the energy changed.

She started walking into the pen with an exact mental blueprint—not just for the pattern, but for her own presence.

✔️ Where her breath would be.
✔️ Where her eyes would focus.
✔️ What she’d tell herself in that moment.

And suddenly, her horse had someone to trust.

Because a focused rider creates a focused horse.

2. AN IMPORTANT MINDSET SHIFT

What if… stay with me here… what if stillness wasn’t the goal?

gasp i know, i know!! It’s sacrilegious to say you shouldn’t stand still at center. But let's Question The Premise of the whole dang thing!! (QTP light of my life)! That was the shift we made.

Instead of fighting the mare’s fire, we channeled it.
Instead of trying to force her into stillness, we gave her a job.
Instead of feeding into the tension, we calmed it at the source.

This means we did two things. ⤵️

One: She stopped focusing on holding her horse still and started focusing on her own energy first. This means whatever high strung-ness her horse was experiencing… She as the rider was 100% in charge of her energy and she did NOT have to match her horse. She focused on staying 100 in the present moment and regulated (using the unique tools we practiced together). 

Two: She stopped trying to force an extended relax at center. Yep. QTP, baby. Her horse was never going to be a horse that settled in a way that made you go, ‘WOW”, so instead she paused at center long enough to satisfy the requirements of the pattern and then just moved on. Straight into the turns (which she did well when it wasn’t prefaced by a bunch of stress and fighting). 

The next time she walked into that pen?

Her mare still shifted. Still flicked her ears. Still wasn’t a perfect statue.

✨ But MY CLIENT was different. ✨

She stepped up to center, and stayed focused and regulated. She paused, then smoothly went in to ask for the spin. 

And…. super dramatic drum roll………….

When she stopped bracing for a fight, her mare stopped searching for one. 🤯

The judge wasn’t looking for a statue. They were looking for a rider in control of their own mind first. They were looking for a partnership and a willingly guided horse. 

And she didn’t just go through the pattern.

She owned it.

If you’re stuck fighting stillness, you’re asking the wrong question.

💭 What if you could walk into that pen knowing exactly how to handle the moment?
💭 What if you could channel that energy into power, instead of a problem?
💭 What if you could step into the arena feeling unshakable?

This is the shift I help riders make.

📩 DM me if you’re ready to stop fighting your horse and start riding with clarity.

🔥 Nicole

PS- Next round of my live group coaching program The Mental Gym for Equestrians starts April 1. Reply to this email or DM me on IG to rewire your mind, reprogram your nervous system, and step into a new level of riding that feels effortless.