I Didn’t Expect This To Break Me Open

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Hey friend,

Popping buttered popcorn in my mouth enjoying the air-conditioned theater after coming in from 100 degree heat I was ready for a fun action-flick date night. 

Two hours later, I’m sitting there holding back tears, completely wrecked.

I was not prepared for how that movie made me feel.

Let me tell ya, the new F1 movie with Brad Pitt hit me in the gut… and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.

Not because of the cars or the adrenaline (though yes, it was epic).
But because of what it showed—quietly, powerfully—about aging, leadership, and that strange moment in life when…

You're no longer the rising star.

You're the one making space for someone else’s victory—even while still chasing your own.

Holy crap—I think I’m officially a grown-up now. When did I start relating to the older character, not the teenager?

Brad plays an older driver—gritty, seasoned, and still burning with competitive fire. (yeah, there's the whole mental performance aspect of him facing fears and driving after a crash. We’re not talking about that today). 

Back to the movie. In the spotlight? A younger teammate. The media calls Brad “past his prime.” A placeholder. A washed-up name in a newer, faster world.

But the truth? He’s the reason that kid is winning.

Pitt’s character joins the team and it starts off with a battle of the egos and Brad wanting to be the winner. 

Understandable. 

Then one of the team engineers has a come-to-Jesus meeting with him: this is a team sport. 

And something shifts. 

Brad’s character sacrifices the glory.

He swallows his pride.

He reads the field, takes the hits, and makes the exact right moves—moves that nobody sees, except maybe the coach.

He’s setting up the pass. Holding off the pressure. Playing the long game while the kid gets the spotlight.

And the kid doesn’t even realize it.

And oh man… that hit something deep in me.

Because I know what that feels like.
And if you’re in this chapter of life too, I think you know it too.

That feeling of…
“I’m still in it. I still want this. I’m not done.”
But also…
“I’m spending so much of my energy making space for someone else.”

Whether it’s your kid. Your horse. A new teammate. A younger version of yourself.
You’re holding the rope. Holding the weight. Holding the line.

And it’s beautiful.
It’s meaningful.
It’s real leadership.

But also?

It’s lonely sometimes.
And emotional. I’m tearing up writing this.
And it can make you question: “Am I still chasing my own dream? Or just helping others chase theirs?”

And sometimes, you’re doing all that while no one’s even clapping for you. 

This movie stirred something in me I didn’t know I needed to feel.

Like grief for the version of me who used to be the one people watched.
The one who didn’t have to explain why I still cared so much.
The one who didn’t feel invisible.

And at the same time, it reminded me: I haven’t lost that part of me.
She’s still here.
She’s just evolving.

She’s still riding.
Still reaching.
Still pushing for something that’s hers, even if the role looks different now.

Anyway.
That’s what’s been on my heart.
I thought maybe you’d feel it too.

You’re not done.
You still get to want the win.
You still get to ride. To be a baddie. To evolve. 

But now, with deeper wisdom, quieter confidence, and a whole new understanding of what real strength looks like. 

Even if no one sees what you’re carrying behind the scenes.

—Nicole

P.S. No big pitch today. Just a reminder that what you’re doing matters. That your effort counts—even when it’s quiet. And if you ever need a place to reconnect to your vision, your fire, your seat in the saddle… Whether it’s 1:1 coaching or one of my programs, we’ll find what fits.

But for now, just breathe.
And know you're not alone in this.