My Dad Would’ve Been “Sleepy”

When I was a kid my dad was notorious for all kinds of annoying behavior.

He would relentlessly quiz us around the dinner table about everything from geography, to math, to science, to literature.

Talk about ruining an appetite.

His life was utterly consumed with work, church, and family. He’d frequently work up to 80 hours a week, throw up to 20 hours of church-related "jobs” on top of that, and still (somehow) find time to harass us kids when he’d get home with “who’s up for some music practice.”

Looking back I’m kind of actually in awe. Did he never sleep?

Perhaps that was why he was infamous for catching Zs while driving. He tried everything: having us talk to him, pinch him. He would spread the Wall Street Journal out over the steering wheel, draping down into his lap, and read and weave his way along the road to…all the places he (and we) would go.

It’s a wonder he’s still alive.

He was pulled over more than once by cops convinced he was drunk. And then he’d have to explain that, no, just really really REALLY sleepy.

He could’ve been one of the Seven Dwarves. Except he’s tall and skinny, and not at all cartoonish.

See, my dad worked harder than anyone I’ve ever known (myself included).

Hard Work == Success?

He was absolutely convinced it was the single TRUE path to success and wealth and happiness.

Now if that isn’t a purist Puritan perspective, I don’t know what is.

Growing up, and later—after I’d left the house and started building my own career—my dad would frequently remind me: “You’ve got to work at LEAST 50 hours a week to achieve ANY level of success. Did I tell you about X?”

X was always some anecdote about someone he knew (he knows a LOT of people), and always supported his assertion that the only path to success was the one he was on.

Ironically, for decades he didn’t experience the “success” all this hard work should guarantee. It wasn’t until 30 years into running his own business that he finally had his big breakthrough—and went from mid-5 digits to high 6-digit income…and then sold his business for millions.

He really didn’t like my more…modern perspective on work. While he had frequently told me “you can’t love your work.” I insisted (idealist that I am) that surely it was possible to find “work” that you’d also enjoy and find meaningful.

In all fairness, I suppose I was raised with Tony Robbins’ books on my bookshelf: books that suggested an entirely different type of life was possible. That it might be, in fact, possible to both like your work, and not be utterly consumed by it.

I suppose it’s not too surprising that, after college, I became a data scientist and went to work for tech companies. My role in these companies frequently involved figuring out how to use data to optimize their businesses. And that meant I needed to constantly be on the lookout for a better way of doing things…a more efficient, and/or productive way of achieving results.

I was almost kind of like the dad (the “efficiency expert”) in Cheaper by the Dozen—except, I like to think, much cooler.

What can I say, maybe it’s partly out of residual rebelliousness to my father, but I’ve just never ascribed to the dogmatic belief that simply WORKING HARD is associated with any particular kind of result, good or bad.

When I’d argue with my dad as a kid, he’d put up his favorite anecdote: well, so-and-so is a plumber. Works 80 hours a week. Makes $80,000!

I’d fire back with: “yeah, well, so-and-so works two full-time fast food jobs, and makes $40,000. Tops.”

Hard Work <> Success (Not By Itself, Anyway)

But the thing is that, as the Non-Horsey Husband, I see a LOT of this flawed thinking.

The belief that simply working HARDER will yield the results that the equestrian wants.

Not seeing the results you want at shows? Just do MORE SHOWS.

Not happy with your riding? MORE RIDING is the answer.

I’ve even seen folks tie the two together: If I’m not getting the results I want at shows then I guess I need more lessons and riding.

Imagine their disappointment when they repeatedly find that their approach, that WORKING HARDER, doesn’t guarantee the results they want. And that if they see any results at all, they come very slowly—expensive in both time, and frequently in money as well.

Of COURSE, some degree of practice is critical, but the WAY you practice and the WAY you show, matters a LOT.

The other piece that matters a ton and many equestrians completely neglect? Working on their brain/mind/mindset—that all so critical muscle between your ears.

One of the biggest mistakes western riders can make is assuming they can wait to work on their mental “stuff” until they’ve “mastered” riding.

SMART Work

The problem is you can’t master riding, unless you master your mind. Keep in mind that I’m using “master” loosely, recognizing that you’re never truly “done” learning and improving.

If hard work, by itself, isn’t enough, what is?

This is what I call SMART work. And interestingly enough, one of the things Nicole works extensively with her clients on is setting SMART goals, because it’s hard to work SMART, unless you have the right goals to keep you headed in the right direction.

It reminds me of The Story of the Two Woodcutters.

The Story of the Two Woodcutters

Now, unlike the lumberjack in the picture above, the two woodcutters in our parable were employed cutting down trees to earn their living.

One day they decided to have a friendly competition to see who could cut down the most trees by the end of the day.

Now one of the woodcutters was an older man, with a lot of experience, but less energy and enthusiasm than the other woodcutter who was younger and less experienced.

Both men started chopping, and—after about an hour or so—the more experienced woodcutter paused, sat down to take a break, and invited the younger man to join him.

The younger, stronger, more spry woodcutter replied “No way! I’m going to keep chopping, and I’m going to beat you!”

“Suit yourself,” said the experienced woodcutter.

This pattern repeated a few more times throughout the day. Every so often the older woodcutter would take a break and rest, while the younger woodcutter kept chopping away.

Yet, at the end of the day, when the two woodcutters compared their output to see who had chopped more wood, the younger woodcutter was amazed to discover the older woodcutter who kept taking breaks had chopped a significantly greater amount of wood.

He said, “how is that even possible?! You spent far less time chopping than I did. And I’m stronger and chopped all day long! What is your secret?”

The experienced man just chuckled and said with a smile, “every time I sat down, I was sharpening my axe.”

Sharpening Your Axe + Hard Work == Success

See, in data science, in business, and in riding and showing, it’s critical that we pair “sharpening the axe” WITH hard work.

Because it’s only when we combine the two that we will see the results we want occur efficiently. That we will be productive and effective.

One of THE most important axes western equestrians need to sharpen is the mind.

Unfortunately, for many, their minds have been infrequently (at best) developed, strengthened, conditioned. It’s no wonder all their HARD WORK doesn’t produce the results they want.

What’s one simple way you can start to sharpen your axe?

One Simple Way to Sharpen Your Axe Today

It’s simple, but, like everything it will take sustained consistent practice. It’s so simple some people have a hard time believing it’ll work, so they don’t even give it a try.

Are you game for a challenge?

Once a day, for the next 7 days, take 5 minutes a day and meditate.

You’ll find somewhere comfortable to sit or lay, close your eyes, relax every muscle progressively from toes to scalp… and then think of a word. Any word.

Just see if floating there in your head. Focus all your attention on that word.

When other words and thoughts appear. Just see them sliding out-of-sight. Remind yourself that anything important your brain WILL remind you of again later. You don’t need to think of it during this five minutes.

This is important because your brain WILL try to throw many things at you, making it seem like all of them are urgent, worthy AT THIS VERY MOMENT of worry, concern, consideration.

Let them all GO. Let them slide away from you like they’re carried by an invisible breeze.

Focus on the word you’ve chosen. Taste it. Roll it around in your mind.

Continue recognizing and then letting any other thoughts that arise go…and suddenly your five minute timer will be going off. You’re already done for the day!

You’ll be astonished how fast this time flies.

And you’ll be amazed how just consistently practicing this technique five minutes a day will dramatically change your riding, and maybe even your life.

AND, you might be interested in joining our FREE Online Live Mini Mental Bootcamp for Western Riders where Nicole will be coaching western riders like you on how to develop rock-solid confidence in riding and showing using mental performance techniques. (see below for more details)

Until next time!

Adiós, mi compadres!

Abe

FREE Mental Mini Bootcamp for Western Riders

Starting August 17th, develop rock-solid confidence in Nicole's exclusive FREE ONLINE 3-Part Live "Mental Mini Bootcamp for Western Riders." This is a sampler of Nicole's extensive expertise in advance of opening the doors to her Signature program on August 28th.

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