My horse kicks out during lead changes—what am I doing wrong?

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“My mare kicks out every time I ask for the change.
She knows how to do it—but lately it’s like she’s mad at me.
Is she just being a brat? Help!”

That was the message sitting in my inbox last week.

And ohhh, I felt it.

Because I’ve been that rider—
where something that’s supposed to feel smooth and flowy turns into a little explosion.

Where the harder you try to get it right, the more your horse seems to resent you for even asking.

And the more frustrated you get…
the more they fire back.

But I’ve also coached so many riders through this exact pattern.
And now, I see it instantly.

Now, I’m not here to coach you on hind-end engagement or the mechanics of timing.
I’m here to talk about the piece that gets overlooked—
and what, 9 times out of 10, actually solves the problem.

Because it’s not a training issue.
At least… not in the way you think.

It’s not about the cue.
And it’s definitely not that your horse is just being moody or difficult.

Because the issue isn’t with your horse. 

It’s with the rider. 

Here’s my question for YOU:

👉 What’s going on in you when you ask for that change?

👉 What are you feeling right before you give the cue?

Pressure?
Panic?
Performance anxiety?

Are you thinking, “Okay, don’t screw this up.”
Or, “C’mon girl, PLEASE just do it right today.”

Because here’s the part you miss:

Your horse isn’t reacting to the cue.
She’s reacting to the energy underneath it.

When we grip, brace, or over-focus on the “right” way to ask, we change our body language. Our seat stiffens. Our legs clamp. Our mind fixates.

You literally change how you physically ride. 

And all of that gets translated to your horse.

To her, it feels like tension.
Like pressure.
Like something she has to fight off or escape.

So she kicks.

Not because she’s a brat.
But because she’s overwhelmed by what she’s feeling through you.

Let’s break it down.

Here are 3 unexpected reasons your horse might kick during lead changes:

1️⃣ You’re overcueing.

This is what happens when pressure turns into desperation.  Lead changes feel like a “make it or break it” moment, especially in the show pen. That pressure builds in your body—even when you think you’re hiding it. And your horse? She’s feeling every ounce.

You want it to go right so badly that you do more—more leg, more ask, more everything. I see this all the time with my clients! But instead of feeling guided, your horse feels overwhelmed. That excess energy gets met with resistance—ears pinned, tail swish, kick out.

2️⃣ You’re not breathing.

It sounds silly. But this is another thing so many of my clients are guilty of when we start working together. (You bet we fix this!) But if you’ve ever held your breath in a tricky maneuver, you know: it changes your whole ride. Your body tenses. Your cues get sharp. And your horse responds with resistance.

3️⃣ You’re riding from fear, not leadership.

When you ask from a place of please don’t mess this up, you’re not actually leading—you’re begging. And horses don’t follow beggars. They follow calm, clear leaders.

So what do you do instead?

💡 Practice cueing like it’s no big deal.
💡 Breathe out before you ask.
💡 Ride the lead change like it’s a yes—you’re not asking a favor, you’re offering an invitation.

Want to get out of your own head and into better lead changes?
That’s what we work on inside 5 Days to Confident Competitor.

Because you can train for the show pen.
You can train for the maneuver.
But if you don’t train your mind?
You’ll carry tension into every ride.

Let’s fix that.

Join 5 Days to Confident Competitor

Train Your Mind → Ride with Confidence

Now get out there and ride!

Nicole