My Podcast Didn’t Get Recorded, and How It Made Me A More Resilient Rider

Welp, last Thursday I recorded a podcast with a guest. And my phone didn’t record it. 

I had driven out to record with roper and reiner and non pro coach Jeff Wadman. I was so excited to have Jeff as a guest on the podcast because of the unique perspective he can bring as a coach to riders on the mental side of competition as well as his observations on non pro riders. 

Even if you are in a training program, you may not have the ability to sit down with your trainer and have a discussion like this. 

I got out there, set up the camera, and when I went to set up the microphones (I have two little portable mics), one hadn’t charged despite being plugged in overnight. 

No big deal. Frustrating, but we can share a mic. It’s fine. 

We get to talking, and have a great conversation. The talk is flowing, Jeff is providing thoughtful answers and his full attention. I am so thrilled and I know folks are going to get so much out of this conversation! 

Well, I just get a paranoid inkling that maybe my camera isn’t recording after all. 

“Before we finish up, let me get up and check everything” I say. 

It was my nightmare. The camera hadn’t been working! I have no idea why, but such is life. 

I felt so crushed. Professionally, I was embarrassed. Personally, I was embarrassed, and honestly – I wanted to throw a little tantrum. 

WHAT was I going to do? 

I was so frustrated with myself that this had happened! 

Now, there have been a few times where a podcast I recorded solo didn’t take for one reason or another (I mean, technical issues have been happening for forever, it comes with the territory). But I just set it aside and come back to rerecord later. However, in this situation, it wasn’t just me. Here I was, with a guest who had cleared space in their schedule for this interview. As much as I wanted to come back another day, I wanted to respect their time more, and felt it was my duty to do what I could to salvage this NOW, in the time they had. 

So, I pivoted, created a different setup, and Jeff so very graciously agreed to try again. And we did! I’ll admit, I was absolutely a little more flustered than the first time, but such is life. 

Afterwards, Jeff had to leave, but he said I could ride in the indoor arena before I headed out. I could feel how amped up I was. I was still full of embarrassment, frustration, and yes, some anger at how things went with technological issues. A part of me didn’t want to ride at all. To cool down and try again another day. 

And there’s nothing wrong with taking space if you can’t control your emotions. But I had a brief flash of insight where I realized I had to ride. 

During our interview, Jeff mentioned how he works hard to create stress at home for himself, the horses, and the riders, so that when it’s time to go show, the competition feels like a day off, because you train harder at home than how you compete. 

Brilliant words, right? I mean, academically, who’s going to disagree?  

Well, it struck me that I, too, am a huge advocate of practicing like you show. Of doing what you can to replicate the show environment at home.  To replicate the stress and overwhelming feelings. It’s a big part of why I love visualization – because your body brings up the stress for you to practice dealing with. 

Well, here I was feeling awfully like I would at a show. I’d done everything “right”. I’d had a “good ride”, then a “bad ride” and it was messing me up something awful. I was able to pull my head out of the sand enough to see The Universe was giving me an incredible gift. 

It was giving me the opportunity to practice performing in a high-pressure situation. It was giving me the opportunity to control my emotions. To find my neutral. 

Could I pull myself out of this downward spiral and have a good ride? Could I center myself enough to be a good leader for my horse? Could I control my emotions so we could have a good ride? Can I use this moment of stress to catapult myself to the next level? 

I thought – THIS, this right here is the frustration of a horse show. When you don’t have the luxury of changing the time of your ride, and sh*t hits the fan and you are not feeling yourself… and you still have to go ride. How do you handle this? 

I thought- I didn’t pay any money, and I get this marvelous gift of practicing just like a show?! I have to ride. 

So I saddled up, and went out to ride. I took a few minutes to walk around before I got on to get some of my nervous energy out first. And I did a few minutes of ground work to check in with my horse, and then I got on. 

And you know what – we had a good ride! I channeled both of our energy – me from being angry and high strung, and him from having most of the week off, and we worked on forward. We went forward at the walk, forward at the trot, and steered all over. I kept steady hands and drove him up into the bridle. We did a brief lope each way, and did the same thing. We kept it low key, and stopped at center to chill a couple of times. 

And in 30 minutes, we had a great little ride; we made progress in our training. I was able to be so in the moment, some of my nerves fell to the wayside. (Even if they did come back after I got off). Horses don’t lie, and my horse showed I was able to show up for him. 

I was quite proud of myself, to be honest. Not just because we had a nice ride, but because I faced my fears. I chose to leave my issues outside the arena. I chose to control my emotions and have a good ride. I chose to build my confidence and my horse’s confidence by doing a hard thing and acknowledging it. 

After, I got to thinking, we have to embrace those moments we want to run away from. When we have big feelings, we want to run away, (and honestly, the physical act of running is actually a productive way to handle feelings), but metaphorically, we don’t want to deal with our feelings, or do hard things when we aren’t regulated. 

And it’s not that I want you to be dangerous, and get on and ride when you are full of emotion. But I want you to embrace those moments that make you dysregulated. 

We do want those calm days and calm rides because that is an important part of training our brains and strengthening the neural pathways that say “this is how we ride, this is how we behave”. We want our default to be pretty neutral when we’re around horses. 

But life is challenging. Training is challenging. Competing is challenging. We need exposure to hard situations in order to put ourselves to the test. Or, to put it another way, we need exposure to hard situations to practice handling hard situations. 

If all we ever encounter is ourselves in the arena solo, and everything is always perfect, you are going to have a hard time handling a crowded warm up pen, and a hard time when your horse acts up, or when you are emotionally riled up - angry, frustrated, disappointed. 

Even if you aren’t grateful at the moment for that slowdown on the freeway, it is a wonderful opportunity to practice self regulation. An opportunity to practice coming back to neutral. The more you practice, the better you will get. And “big situations” with big feelings, are a gift to practice regulating yourself in higher pressure situations. 

Basically, it’s all a part of practice like you show.

You know you are going to have big feelings at competition, so embrace it when big feelings come up in your daily life. Use this gift as an opportunity to practice your skill and ability to handle those big emotions and come back to center and neutral. 

I challenge you to find one moment this coming week where you find yourself challenged, and emotional, and instead of staying in that state of overwhelm and anger or frustration or anxiety; use it as an opportunity to practice self-regulation. 

Time yourself and see how long it takes you to really get calm and focused again. Before you feel “normal” again. Is it an hour? 4 hours? Overnight? A week? 

(It can be surprisingly long to truly get back to baseline.) 

Use that as a starting point, and then it becomes a game. The next time you get thrown off mentally or emotionally, you can say to yourself, “Last time it took me 26 hours to really feel better. Can I feel better in 25 hours?” And see what happens. 

Then send me a message and tell me how it went for you. 

And be on the lookout for the podcast with Jeff Wadman. It’s seriously so good and you are going to get soooo much out of it!! I can’t wait to share it with you!

I believe in you. 

Happy Trails,

Nicole Burnett

Mental Coach to riders

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