Not another trust fall 🙄

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You’ve heard it a million times:

"You just need to build trust with your horse."

Cool. But what does that actually mean?!? (I ask that question daily). 

Because unless we’re talking about doing a literal trust fall in the middle of the arena (please don’t), most riders are left wondering how to create that unshakable bond everyone keeps preaching about.

Let me give it to you straight:

Trust isn’t built on perfection. It’s built on consistency. 👏

It’s built when your horse knows what to expect from you—no matter the day, the pattern, or the pressure.

But if you don’t trust yourself?

If you’re second-guessing every cue or riding from a place of hesitation and self-doubt?

That energy transfers instantly.

Today, we’re diving into what trust really looks like in the saddle—and how to become the kind of rider your horse can count on.

Not just on a good day. But every day.

Let’s go. 🔥

Welcome to Day 4 of this powerful (and maybe slightly uncomfortable) training series: How to Get Your Horse to Actually Listen to You.

Each day this week, you’ll get a short, practical email that blends mindset work, neuroscience, and in-the-saddle strategy—because what’s going on in your brain directly impacts what’s happening under your seat.

Today’s Topic: Day 4: Not Another Trust Fall. How to Build Unshakable Trust with Your Horse

You Need Trust With Your Horse

Yeah, Nicole, but what does building trust have to do with mental performance and how my horse rides?

Trust is the cornerstone of your partnership with your horse, and mental performance plays a key role in creating it. Building trust starts with you. Your horse needs to see you as a consistent, confident, and steady leader—and that’s not something you can fake. It’s a direct reflection of your mental state.

Here’s how mental performance connects to trust-building: 👇

1. Consistency in Your Energy

Horses thrive on consistency. When your energy is calm and steady, your horse feels safe and secure. But if you’re bringing stress, frustration, or a distracted mind into the arena, your horse will pick up on that and respond accordingly. A clear mental state allows you to approach your horse with the same calm presence every time, creating a sense of stability they can rely on.

Mental performance techniques—like grounding breaths, visualization, and setting intentions—help you regulate your emotions and energy before interacting with your horse. When you show up grounded and composed, you’re giving your horse the signal: I’ve got this. You’re safe with me.

2. Confidence Through Mental Clarity

Your horse looks to you for leadership, especially in situations that feel uncertain or challenging. If your mindset is filled with doubt, second-guessing, or “what ifs,” your horse won’t feel secure enough to trust your guidance. They’ll hesitate, resist, or even shut down because they sense your lack of confidence.

When you develop mental clarity, you project confidence—even in difficult moments. Techniques like visualization and mental rehearsal, which are core parts of mental performance training which I teach in-depth for maximum impact, help you anticipate challenges and prepare yourself to handle them with confidence. A confident rider inspires trust, and a horse that trusts you will willingly follow your lead.

3. Handling Mistakes with Grace

Trust isn’t just about what happens when things are going well—it’s also about how you respond when things go wrong. Horses are incredibly perceptive and they ‘totes notice how you react when they make mistakes. If your mindset defaults to frustration or blame, your horse will start to associate errors with fear or tension, eroding the trust you’ve built. (I mean, we do the exact same thing as humans…)

A strong mental performance foundation allows you to approach mistakes with curiosity rather than judgment. You’ll be able to stay patient, adjust your strategy, and create a learning moment for both you and your horse. This steadiness reinforces the idea that you’re a partner they can rely on, no matter what happens.

4. Trust Is Built Over Time—Through Your Mindset

Trust isn’t built in a single ride; it’s built in the way you show up every day. Your mental performance creates the foundation for this consistency. When you cultivate a mindset of patience, presence, and curiosity, you create an environment where your horse feels safe and connected.

Think of it this way: Every time you interact with your horse, you’re either building trust or breaking it. Mental performance ensures you’re showing up as the best version of yourself—calm, clear, and focused—so your horse knows they can count on you.

One of my clients had a habit of charging off and rushing through patterns. She focused on mental performance and emotional regulation for herself, as well as trust building with her horse for two weeks, and the change was remarkable. Her horse went from a distracted, anxious horse to a more confident partner who started checking in with his rider instead of reacting to every sound. “It felt like we finally became a team,” she told me.

The Bottom Line

Building trust isn’t just about physical actions—it’s about the mental space you hold for your horse. Mental performance helps you regulate your energy and emotions for better rides and better connection, project confidence, and respond to challenges with grace. And when your horse feels that steady, trustworthy energy from you, they’ll respond with willingness and connection.

This is exactly what we focus on inside the Mental Gym for Equestrians—giving you the tools to train your mind so you can show up as the calm, confident leader your horse needs.

Working with me isn’t just mindset fluff or throwing spaghetti at the wall.

It’s focused. It’s strategic. It’s results-driven.

One of the most common things I hear from riders is:

“Finally—mindset work that actually makes sense.”

Because I don’t just tell you what to shift—I give you a clear, proven process to actually make it happen.

You’ll follow a step-by-step system that helps you build:
✅ Laser-sharp focus
✅ Unshakable confidence
✅ And a clear, connected ride—every time you swing a leg over

Mindset may feel intangible, but inside MGE, we make it practical, powerful, and impossible to ignore.

When your mindset is aligned with your actions, trust naturally follows—and that’s when the real magic happens in your partnership.

Ride on, cowboy,

Nicole