Stop Talking Yourself Out of Success

Hey! Prefer to listen instead of read the Newsletter? I got you! The Resilient Reiner Newsletter also comes as a podcast! 🎙️ Tune in to listen now! 

Let me ask you something—what’s your self-talk like right before you ride?

This week, my daughter is preparing for her school’s talent show, and let me tell you—I'm getting a front-row seat to all her self-talk. Every time she practices, I hear it: “What if I mess up?” “I don’t think I’m good enough.” “Everyone’s going to laugh at me.”

As a mom, it’s hard to hear, especially when I know how talented she is. And as a coach, it’s a powerful reminder of just how real and relentless those inner voices can be. Watching her, I see exactly how those thoughts are affecting her confidence. She’s putting in the work, practicing her heart out, yet a few critical thoughts could sabotage her performance before she even steps on stage.

We all go through this—whether it’s a school talent show or your next big show day. Our self-talk can be the game-changer that either lifts us up or keeps us stuck. So, if you’re anything like my daughter and find that those doubtful thoughts tend to take over, stick with me. Today, I want to talk about why this mindset matters and how shifting it can make all the difference in your rides.

Are you hyping yourself up, saying, “I’ve got this,” or are you running through every possible way things could go wrong?

Be honest. Most riders I coach fall into the second category. They replay past mistakes or get stuck in “What if I mess this up?” mode, and guess what? That inner dialogue is wrecking their confidence and performance.

Let’s break this down. ⤵️

THE MISTAKE:

Underestimating the power of positive self-talk.

Here’s the truth: your brain is listening to everything you say.

No, everything you say.

If you’re constantly telling yourself, “I’ll never get this,” or “I’m just not good enough,” your brain believes you. It’s not a matter of willpower—it’s a matter of training.

This isn’t some fluffy “manifest your success” pep talk. This is neuroscience. Your thoughts create your reality, whether that reality is winning your class or spiraling into self-doubt.

WHY THIS MATTERS:

If your self-talk is dragging you down, here’s what’s happening:

• You’re reinforcing bad habits. Negative thoughts aren’t harmless—they’re practice for failure.

• You’re holding back progress. It’s hard to ride boldly when you’ve convinced yourself you’re not capable.

• You’re stressing out your horse. Your energy becomes their energy, and they’ll feel that doubt.

HERE’S HOW TO KNOW IF THIS IS YOU:

• You can’t stop replaying mistakes and worrying they’ll happen again.

• You feel stuck, like no matter what you do, you’re not improving.

• You talk yourself out of being proud of your progress because it’s “not good enough.”

Let me tell you something: you’re not stuck because you lack skill. You’re stuck because your mind keeps running the same negative loop—and it’s time to break it.

WHAT YOU NEED TO DO INSTEAD:

Flip the script.

Here’s how I help my riders change the conversation in their heads:

1. Replace the negativity. 

2. Practice success through mental rehearsal.

3. Shift their perspective. Every challenge is an opportunity.

This is exactly what I teach in Resilient Reiner Academy and in my Mental Rehearsal for Riders Masterclass because these techniques WORK. When you change the way you talk to yourself, everything changes—your focus, your confidence, and the way you show up in the saddle.

HERE’S WHAT POSSIBLE:

Imagine walking into the arena with zero second-guessing.

You’re dialed in, clear-headed, and ready to ride like the rider you know you can be. Your horse feels it too, and suddenly everything clicks.

This isn’t a pipe dream. This is what happens when your mind becomes your biggest ally, not your biggest critic.

If you’re ready to stop letting negative self-talk hold you back, let’s fix this.

• Reply and tell me—what’s one thing you wish you believed about yourself as a rider?

• Join Resilient Reiner Academy and let me show you how to rewire your mind for success.

Results don’t come from luck or talent. It comes from training your brain to work with you, not against you.

It’s time to get out of your own way and start riding like the rider you know you can be.

You in?
Nicole