The Weird Way Horses ‘Feel’ Your Emotions (and Why It Matters)

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I walked into the barn like a storm cloud rolling in over the plains. Dark. stormy. No one could do right no matter what. Like even if you walked in offering me coffee and donuts I’d just smash the donut’s pink frosting right on your face, and throw the coffee on your clean shirt. 

I did not have a good ride that day. Not my finest moment. 

You ever walk into the barn in a mood—and somehow your horse is just… not having it?

That’s not a coincidence. That’s neuroscience.

Your horse’s brain is wired to pick up on your emotional state.

Not just in a “vibe check” kind of way—literally. Through something called mirror neurons, your horse is constantly reading your body language, breathing, tone, and tension.

If you're anxious, distracted, or doubting yourself… they feel it.

And guess what? They respond in kind.

Today’s email breaks down this invisible connection between your nervous system and your horse’s behavior—so you can start influencing them in the best way possible (no extra saddle time required).

Welcome to Day 2 of this powerful (and maybe slightly uncomfortable) training series: How to Get Your Horse to Actually Listen to You. 

Each day this week, you’ll get a short, practical email that blends mindset work, neuroscience, and in-the-saddle strategy—because what’s going on in your brain directly impacts what’s happening under your seat.

Today’s Topic: Day 2: Magic Mirror On The Wall, Who’s The Best Horse of All? The Science of Mirror Neurons and How They Impact Your Horse’s Responses

The Neuroscience of Mirror Neurons

I had a client come to me feeling completely stuck. Her gelding had been her partner for years, but lately, their rides had become a constant battle. Her horse would pin his ears, ignore her cues, and sometimes even refuse to move forward. After making sure he wasn’t in pain, she was convinced he was just “in a mood” or being disrespectful. But when we dug a little deeper, the real issue became clear: her own energy was setting the tone—and it wasn’t the tone she wanted.

We discovered she often rushed to the barn after a stressful day at work. Her mind would still be racing with to-do lists, and she’d carry that tension into her rides. Without realizing it, her shoulders would tighten, her cues would get sharper, and she’d become hyper-focused on getting her horse to “do the thing” rather than enjoying their time together. Being the sensitive horse he was, he mirrored her tension right back to her, escalating their frustration loop.

During one of our coaching sessions, I introduced my client to the concept of mirror neurons and how horses reflect the energy of those around them. We talked about how her stress and frustration might be coming through in her body language, even if she wasn’t aware of it. She was shocked—she’d never really considered that his behavior might be his way of telling her, “Hey, I feel what you’re feeling!”

We created a simple pre-ride routine to help her reset her energy before interacting with her horse. The first time she tried this, she noticed an immediate difference. Her horse, who usually greeted her with indifference or a swish of his tail, stood calmly when she walked in. During their ride, he felt more focused and willing, and she realized she wasn’t getting as frustrated as she usually did after implementing my Pre-Ride Power Reset technique I taught her.

After a few weeks of practicing this routine, she reported that her relationship with her horse had completely transformed. Their rides were smoother, and even on days when her gelding was distracted, she found she could bring him back to focus just by calming herself first. She said, “I didn’t realize how much my own stress was affecting him. Now, I feel like we’re a real team again.”

Her story is proof that when you take responsibility for your own energy, your horse will meet you halfway. The calm, connected partnership you’re striving for starts with you. 

So, what’s really happening here? Why does your energy have such a powerful impact on your horse?

You’ve probably heard the phrase, “Your horse is a mirror of you.” It’s not just a poetic idea—there’s actual science behind it. It all comes down to something called mirror neurons, and they play a huge role in how you and your horse interact.

Mirror neurons are special brain cells found in both humans and horses. They fire not just when we perform an action but also when we observe someone else performing that action. In simple terms, this means that emotions and energy are contagious.

When you’re around your horse, they’re constantly reading your emotional state—your body language, breathing, even the subtle tension in your muscles. If you’re calm and focused, your horse will feel that and respond in kind. But if you’re tense, frustrated, or unsure, your horse’s mirror neurons will pick up on that, and they’re likely to reflect it back to you. Ever had a day where everything feels off with your horse, and the more frustrated you get, the worse it seems to go? That’s the power of mirror neurons in action.

The takeaway? 👉 If you want your horse to stay calm, present, and responsive, you have to lead the way. Your energy sets the tone for every interaction, whether you’re grooming, doing groundwork, or riding.

What you need to do about it: 

Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

Before you even step into the barn, take a moment to check in with yourself. Ask:

• Am I calm and grounded, or am I carrying stress from the day?

• Am I focused and present, or is my mind racing with distractions?

If the answer is anything other than calm and present, hit pause. Your horse deserves your best energy, and you can’t fake it—they’ll know, cowboy. This small check-in takes less than a minute, but it can make all the difference in how your horse responds. By setting the tone with your own energy, you create a safe and focused space where your horse feels supported and ready to engage.

Want more? Inside MGE, we go deep into my Rider Reset Method™, which trains your nervous system, and we layer in rapid rewiring techniques to reprogram your brain—so you can shift your state in real time and show up as the rider your horse needs.

Because here’s the thing: Your internal state doesn’t just affect you—it directly influences your horse.

To wrap it up, here’s what mirror neurons prove:

Your horse is always watching, always responding, always reflecting you.

So if you're showing up distracted, tense, or doubting yourself…

your horse mirrors that right back.

But when you’re grounded, present, and emotionally steady?

Everything shifts. 

Your horse starts to soften, focus, and meet you in the moment. They tune in. They trust you. 

Because they feel your energy before you ever touch the reins. 

That kind of clarity doesn’t come from another clinic or more saddle time.

It comes from training your mind and nervous system to lead.

And that’s exactly what we do inside the Mental Gym for Equestrians.

Inside MGE, you’ll learn how to:
✅ Regulate your energy in real-time so your horse responds with trust
✅ Train your nervous system to stay calm and focused—even under pressure
✅ Ride with intention and clarity from the first cue to the final stop

You already know your horse is a mirror.

Now it’s time to make sure they’re reflecting a rider who’s fully in control—inside and out.

👉 Click here to join MGE now and start training the part of you that matters most.

You’ve got this,
Nicole