When It's "One of THOSE Days"

It’s as human as it gets, and knowing doesn’t make it any easier to stomach.

Today has been “one of those days” for me.

A day when all I want to do is crawl into bed, and sleep until the sun comes out again.

…Maybe take a bath first, though.

And maybe gorge on Netflix or a good book.

But just take the day off from life, ya know?

…

Buuuut ever since becoming a parent and business co-owner (with Nicole) days which are truly “off” are harder to come by.

We take our commitments to our community very seriously, and also the kids can trash the house in like 10 seconds flat—and also need to be fed and fights mediated.

So instead of doing all the things I wanted to, I made a list of what absolutely had to be accomplished today…and then I just put one foot in front of another.

It really wasn’t that easy though.

Because days like today can make you feel like your feet are mired in mud. Make you feel like you just, maybe, need a good cry. Or, hell, maybe need to channel the sadness as anger into a punching bag.

Days like today suck because even if the sun is shining (it was!), you can still feel dreary inside (I did!).

I’m not one to just suffer though, so I’ve done what I can to help myself. And there’s still a couple more self-treatment items on my agenda.

Because I know that melancholy and depression wither in the face of action, I drove myself out into the sun. But because a WHOLE WALK might’ve seemed too overwhelming (on a day like today), I told myself I’d just go a few steps and see how I felt.

So bundled up in hat, gloves, and two jackets, out the door I went.

A few steps later I decided I could handle a few more, and a few more after that, I decided I could handle a few more…and before I knew it, I’d walked three miles.

Back at home I continued to deploy my anti-depression tool kit.

If you have days like this, you know that it’s important to almost use these methods without considering whether you WANT to. As much as you can, just do them on auto-pilot.

I found moments to connect with our kids, to pet our dogs and cat, to hold our bunny, to talk with Nicole.

I lifted weights and exercised.

I ate well and hydrated thoroughly.

I sipped delicious warm herbal tea and enjoyed a carafe of dark decaf coffee.

I listened to music which acted as a conduit for emotions trapped within me to work their way out.

Lastly, I took action. I did the things I really didn’t feel like doing today. Because sometimes when we do the very things which we feel the greatest resistance towards we feel the biggest relief.

Except, I shouldn’t have said “lastly,” because I’m not done yet. I think I need another cup or two of tea, and then I’m going to continue with my prescribed treatment:

• 10 minutes of meditation—just “being” on a day like this, non-judgmental of my thoughts and feelings, can be surprisingly soothing.

• I’ll spend some time dumping everything into my journal. Sometimes just letting my fingers do the walking (on my keyboard) can be remarkably effective at depositing the festering feelings in my journal and freeing myself of them.

• Maybe I’ll take a relaxing Epsom salt bath, and/or do some progressive muscle relaxation: working from one end of my body to the other, tense my different muscles and then relax them.

• Finally, I’ll get to sleep at a healthy hour—sleep really is one of the best treatments for most maladies (physical or mental).

For me, at least, when I do the above and just “hang in there” soon enough it’s a better, brighter, day and it’s hard to believe I ever felt this down.

I just remember that iconic poster of the kitten hanging onto a tree branch by a single paw.

Some days, on days like this, sometimes the only thing we can do is WHAT WE CAN, and then just objectively trust that if we can drag ourselves to dusk, to bed and sleep, then better days lie ahead.

There’s a concept we learned about in statistics which has always seemed relevant to life. It’s called reversion to mean (or, Mean Reversion):

Usually, folks might apply this concept to (say) trading strategies. If a stock price is above the mean than you could wisely assume that, at some point, the price will fall back towards the mean.

Similarly, it’s reasonable to assume if you’re having a “bad” day then it’s quite likely tomorrow will be a better day. You can only have so many bad days in a row before there’s a lot of upward lift towards the mean in your favor.

But that’s the beauty and the challenge of life, isn’t it? The constant ebb and flow, the ups and downs. Today might have been a struggle, but in the grand scheme of things, it's just a single frame in the movie of my life. And like any good film, it's the variety of scenes that add depth and meaning to the story.

I've learned, especially through our adventures in business and the unpredictable journey of parenting, that these "down" days are as much a part of the journey as the triumphant ones. They teach us resilience, remind us of our humanity, and sometimes, in their quiet, unassuming way, they offer us the most profound insights into who we are and what matters most to us.

So, as the evening settles in, I find comfort in the simple yet powerful acts of self-care. The gentle rhythm of my breath during meditation, the cathartic flow of words in my journal, the soothing warmth of herbal tea. Each act is a small but significant step toward healing and balance.

And as I prepare to end the day, I remind myself that life is a spectrum of experiences. The rough patches make the good times sweeter, and the challenges make the victories more rewarding. I hold onto the hope that tomorrow, as the sun rises, so too will my spirits.

In these moments, I'm reminded of the power of Mean Reversion, not just in statistics, but in life. After a low point, the natural course of things tends to swing back towards equilibrium, towards the mean. So, I take solace in the thought that the odds are in favor of a brighter tomorrow. After all, the universe has a way of balancing things out.

As I close my eyes tonight, I’ll think of that kitten on the poster, hanging on tenaciously. That image is a testament to the enduring spirit that resides in each of us, the unyielding force that propels us forward, even on the hardest days. And with that thought, I'll drift off to sleep, ready to greet whatever tomorrow brings with open arms and a resilient heart.

Because in the end, it's not just about making it through the tough days, but about gathering strength from them, learning, growing, and moving ever forward towards those bright, sun-filled days that surely lie ahead.

Until next time! Hang in there, mis compadres!

Abe