Why the buckle won’t get you out of bed

Hey! Prefer to listen instead of read the Newsletter? I got you! The Resilient Reiner Newsletter also comes as a podcast! 🎙️ 

He leaned back, arms crossed, and finally said it out loud:

“Nicole, I want more. I want the buckle, the big runs, the shiny stuff that proves I did it. But honestly? It feels so far away I don’t even know what to do right now.”

I nodded, because I’ve heard this before. And truthfully? I’ve felt it myself.

That ache of wanting something big, but looking at the gap between here and there and feeling like you’re standing at the bottom of a canyon staring up at a cliff face.

So I asked him: “When you picture the win — the buckle, the title, the shiny end result — how does it make you feel?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Fired up… but heavy. Like, damn, that’s a long way off. Feels almost impossible.”

And here’s the part we don’t usually admit out loud:
Those shiny things? They aren’t actually as motivating as we want them to be. They glitter, they sparkle, they look amazing on Instagram… but when you’re exhausted, when your horse is cranky, when your body is sore, when you’ve had three bad rides in a row — a buckle doesn’t get you out of bed.

It’s not enough.

I asked him: “Okay. Then what does keep you going?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I thought wanting the end result would be enough.”

“But what if it’s not supposed to be?” I said. “What if the only thing that gets you through the grind is actually learning to love the grind?”

He shook his head. “But that doesn’t sound very motivating. I don’t love circles. I don’t love stopping and starting and doing the same drills.”

I leaned in. “Right. Nobody loves every circle or every drill. But what if the love isn’t for the drill itself? What if it’s for what the drill is building in you — the focus, the feel, the timing, the connection with your horse?”

He went quiet for a long moment.

“Because here’s the truth,” I said. “The titles and the shiny stuff might get you started. But they won’t keep you going. The only thing that does is falling in love with the process. Not because it’s easy. But because it’s where you actually become the rider who earns the results.”

So let me ask you what I asked him:

Are you chasing the result so hard that you’ve forgotten the ride?
What would shift if instead of fixating on “how far away” it all feels… you found a way to love today’s reps, today’s ride, today’s connection with your horse?

Because the end result? That’s just the byproduct.
The process is where you actually live.

And if right now you’re not sure how to love the process — that’s okay. Most riders aren’t at first. What matters is learning how to keep showing up, ride steady under pressure, and build the mental strength that gets you from here to there.

That’s exactly what we do inside The Mental Gym for Equestrians.

👉 Join us in MGE and start building the mindset that makes results inevitable — whether or not you feel like the process is the win just yet.

Happy Trails,

Nicole