You have to STOP telling yourself these 3 things

If you’re fearful of running your horse hard and fast…

If you’re fearful of going to a show or competition on your own…

If you’re a western rider who is fearful you’re never going to be good enough... 

Then this is for you.

Friends, if you want to go from feeling limited by fear to exploring the full potential of your partnership with your horse, then you have to STOP telling yourself these 3 things.

1. Stop telling yourself you’re not good enough. 

What you should do instead: Recognize your progress and focus on growth. Instead of fixating on your perceived shortcomings, acknowledge how far you've come in your journey as a rider. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem, and recognize the effort you've put into improving your skills.

Shift your mindset from a fixed idea of skill level to one of continuous growth and learning. The best horsemen are students of the horse and always seeking to better learn and understand the horse. And easier said than done, but understand that improvement takes time and effort, and every ride is an opportunity to enhance your abilities.

2. Stop telling yourself that mistakes mean failure.

What you should do instead: Instead, view mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning. Remember, failure isn’t fatal! Makes are just a normal part of the learning process. 

Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them without harsh self-judgment. Remember that even the most accomplished riders face challenges and setbacks along the way. 

One of the best pieces of advice on training horses I have I got from Andrea Fappani, and he said that you set up a puzzle for your horse to solve, and it’s their job to solve it. 

Basically, you remain calm and neutral, and allow them to try “solutions” and see if it’s the “right answer” or not. For example, when you’re starting a horse and they feel pressure on their sides they may try going backwards, or up, or spinning around, until they learn to go forward. 

Your remaining matter of fact about the whole thing and not being upset when they try a wrong answer is vital. It means they can just keep trying things, and then the horse is pleased when they’ve solved the puzzle. 

I love this way of looking at things. It allows me to be a neutral observer, and my horse to be a clever collaborator. Neither of us are nincompoops; we’re both just doing our part to move our partnership and education forward. 

I’m sure you’re nodding along and thinking, of course I would treat my horse with such respect and compassion.

Now, take that same perspective on mistakes and failure and apply it to yourself. 

3. Stop telling yourself that your horse doesn't enjoy working with you.

What you should do instead: Pay attention to your horse's cues and build a positive, trusting relationship through clear communication and mutual respect.

Horses are generous and loving creatures. Pain is often at the root of many misbehaviors. Between ulcers, sore hooves, or teeth poking into their gums, it’s worthwhile to have your vet give your horse the once-over if you’re noticing any issues. 

It’s hard to address a training issue that’s actually a physical issue. (Work smarter, not harder, folks!)

And beyond that, face those fears head on! Is it your horse who doesn’t enjoy the work? Or is it you? Perhaps you’re both sick and tired of the same old thing and ready for some cross training or time off. 

And to be honest, I’ve seen horses who really, truly LOVE their jobs. Like, they love it and are depressed if they don’t get the chance to floss their stuff. And there are horses who love doing “fun things” with their human, but care less what that means. 

Rather than hiding from an inconvenient truth, face it head on and acknowledge if you and your horse want the same thing. And take action accordingly to do something you both enjoy, or find a more suitable home. 

If you love roping and your horse hates cows… Honey, that’s never gonna end well. For either of ya. 

When it comes to accomplishing your goals as a rider, you're not going to be where you want to be at first, but in time you will get there. You have to speak positively, embrace the process, and figure out how to make it fun for you and your horse if you want to go from feeling limited by fear to exploring the full potential of your partnership with your horse.

If this makes total sense 🙌

If you’re still struggling, reply and let’s chat through everything that’s coming up for you. 

Happy Trails, 

Nicole

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