Your horse is listening... are you being clear?

Hey! Prefer to listen instead of read the Newsletter? I got you! The Resilient Reiner Newsletter also comes as a podcast! 🎙️ Tune in to listen now!

Let’s get one thing straight: your horse isn’t reading your training manual. They’re reading you.

And they’re fluent in energy, body language, and mixed signals.

I can’t tell you how many times I thought I was being clear—heels down, shoulders back, asking for a clean lead change—and my horse was like, “Uhh… girl, pick a lane.”

Because here’s the truth: you can be technically perfect and still confuse the heck out of your horse if your mind is scattered and your energy is off.

Truth Bomb: Clear, confident communication doesn’t start with a cue—it starts with your presence.

Today, we’re diving into the real secret of riding in sync with your horse:
✨ getting out of your own head,
✨ getting grounded in your body,
✨ and showing up like you mean it.

Ready to ditch the confusion and start riding like the leader your horse is waiting for? Let’s go. 🔥

Welcome to Day 3 of this powerful (and maybe slightly uncomfortable) training series: How to Get Your Horse to Actually Listen to You. 

Each day this week, you’ll get a short, practical email that blends mindset work, neuroscience, and in-the-saddle strategy—because what’s going on in your brain directly impacts what’s happening under your seat.  

Today’s Topic: Day 3: The Key to Clear, Confident Communication

The Key to Clear, Confident Communication 

Horses are masters at reading subtle cues, but they thrive on consistency and clarity. Mixed signals confuse them, and that confusion often shows up as what we mistakenly label resistance. The truth is, when your horse doesn’t respond the way you’d hoped, it’s sometimes because they’re being difficult—but it’s often because they’re not sure what you’re asking. Like if you’re both applying leg AND pulling on the bridle.

Think about it from your horse’s perspective: they’re trying to interpret a language made up of your body movements, hand placement, leg pressure, and even your energy. If one part of your body is saying “go” while another part says “stop,” your horse is left guessing.

For example, imagine you’re asking your horse to move forward. Your legs might be applying pressure to signal “go,” but if you’re pulling back on the reins—even slightly—your horse receives two conflicting messages. The result? They might freeze, hesitate, back up or even act out, not because they’re refusing to listen, but because they don’t know which cue to follow. Especially if they’re a young horse and still learning our silly human ways. This is why clarity in communication is so powerful: when your signals are consistent and intentional, your horse can respond with confidence.

What does this have to do with mental performance? Clear signals don’t just come from your body—they start in your mind. Mental performance is the foundation of every interaction you have with your horse because clarity in your cues is directly tied to clarity in your mind.

Here’s the connection: when your mind is cluttered—full of distractions, frustration, or self-doubt—your communication becomes inconsistent. You might not even realize you’re giving mixed signals, but your horse feels every ounce of that mental noise.

For example, if you’re doubting yourself while asking your horse to lope, your body might hesitate ever so slightly. Your legs might say “go,” but your hands or posture might hold back unconsciously, creating confusion for your horse. That doubt in your mind turns into conflicting cues in your body, leaving your horse unsure of what to do.

On the other hand, when you approach your ride with a calm, focused mindset, you can deliver clear, consistent cues that your horse understands. A clear mind creates clear communication, and your horse will respond with confidence because they trust your leadership.

That’s the power of mindset. It’s not just something “extra” for riders—it’s the invisible force behind every clear cue, every smooth transition, and every connected ride.

What you need to do about it: 

be clear in your mind so you can be clear in your body.

If today’s email hit home, and you’re thinking: “Wow, my horse is just reacting to the mental chaos I didn’t even know I was bringing,”—you’re not alone.

Most riders are giving unclear cues not because they don’t know better—but because their mind is cluttered, distracted, or full of self-doubt.

That’s exactly why I created the Mental Gym for Equestrians (MGE)—to give riders like you the tools to train your mind like you train your horse.

Inside MGE, you’ll learn how to:
✨ Build clarity and confidence in your cues
✨ Regulate your energy and ride with intention
✨ Stay mentally sharp, focused, and connected—even under pressure

And do it all in a structured, proven system. It’s daily mindset work designed for serious western riders who want next-level performance… without riding longer or working harder.

You in?

Talk soon

Nicole